The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. This takes more than prayer or wishing. It requires deep analysis into the cause of harsh feelings like hatred and a conscious effort to shift one’s perspective.

His Holiness the Dalia Lama (Words of Wisdom cards)

It’s a strange coincidence that this Dalia Lama Words of Wisdom card should come up. I am usually a calm and laid-back person. Yet, I’ve mentioned before that I have a temper, and I struggle with it. Sometimes my anger simmers for hours or days, then one small event will cause it to erupt into an ugly hot mess. I have prayed for these disruptive episodes to subside. He’s right it takes more than prayer and wishing.

I think the biggest culprit of my anger is stress. When our delivery job does not hit the quota for what we need to earn is one example. Receiving an order with no tip that takes up a half-hour of our time can cause us to bring in way below minimum wage. This and the fact that sometimes gas eats up our profits will fuel the fire will cause me to react very poorly.

If I were to analyze this behavior and these stressors, I would say that nothing can go perfectly all the time. If things are not going well and all the orders are causing a loss rather than a profit, we can simply stop for the day. My husband always reminds me that sometimes we will have bad days and that it just goes with the nature of the job. While I am resistant to this fact, his calm demeanor surrounding the issue will help me calm down. It also makes me feel a little stupid for getting riled up.

So I have determined the cause of these tantrums I have as stress, and I realize the need to be aware and patient. I need to recognize that the situation will not change and that hating the unfair tippers burns up too much of my energy. It does not make me feel better when I verbally state how much I hate the greedy and inconsiderate customer. In fact, it just breeds more anger and frustration. There are numerous ways to recede stress.

To turn this around, I have to think a little beyond that one order, or that one day, and focus on bringing in light and love to my situation. I don’t believe this can happen overnight. If I work hard enough on myself over some time, all that negativity will disappear. Maybe I can be more of a positive, calm, and content person. Love for our fellow humans is the goal, kindness toward them is the answer, and compassion is how we achieve this. I think this is what our higher powers would think anyway.